It’s Wednesday night at Hillsong Church in Orange County. I’m in a small group, sitting in a circle, sipping coffee, flipping through another study guide. It’s solid—but… is it really worth the effort to be here?
Seven other guys are there, sitting on folding chairs in a half-circle. Some married, some single, mostly in their 30s and 40s. We trade polite smiles and small talk – ”Hey, nice to meet you,” “How’s work going?” – nothing too deep.
At 7:05, our leader – I’ll call him Pastor J (he’s a gem of a guy, and I genuinely admire his heart) – clears his throat, “Alright, let’s get started.”
I pull out my copy of Emotionally Healthy Discipleship by Peter Scazzero – this semester’s pick – along with everyone else.
He fires up the video lesson, and for 15 or 20 minutes, we watch in silence. It’s solid stuff, no doubt. .
When it ends, Pastor J flips open the discussion guide: “What stood out to you? How can we apply this? Anyone relate?”
A couple guys chime in. One admits he skimmed the chapter – fair enough (I did too). Another drops a Bible verse from memory. I nod, fishing for something clever to say. Pastor J affirms us with his usual warmth before moving on.
By 8:25, we’re winding down. “Any prayer requests?” Pastor J asks. Someone mentions a sick cousin, another’s stressed at work. We bow our heads, say a quick prayer.
And by 8:35, I’m grabbing my jacket, heading out with the rest. “See you next week,” we say – though I know some won’t show.
That’s it. That’s discipleship at church for me – and probably for you, too.
I enjoy it. But it’s surface-level – and tough to really get to know each other this way.
Why This Isn’t Enough
There’s nothing wrong with that Wednesday night group. I always left wishing I had a chance to spend more time with the guys, not less.
The teaching’s solid – Pastor J picks great stuff. The books are packed with insight. The chats? Engaging enough.
But here’s the kicker – for most of us, it’s just another church checkbox.
It’s not forging real bonds—we’re just familiar strangers.
It’s not forming us—we’re still the same after a year.
It’s not preparing us for life—we’re spiritually weak in a world where we need strength.
When the book study’s done, what happens? We grab the next book – or half the group just fades away.
The issue isn’t that these groups exist. It’s that they don’t really change us, very much.
❌ I don’t leave feeling truly known.
❌ I don’t leave feeling discipled.
❌ I don’t leave any different, to be honest.
In a post-Christian culture that’s hammering us 24/7 – shaping our minds, our hearts, our habits – this model is too flimsy to mold us into the image of Christ.
And ineffective discipleship is the church’s silent crisis today.
Tim Keller’s Insight: We’re Losing the Discipleship Battle
And here’s the real kicker: the world is out-discipling the church. Every. Single. Day.
Tim Keller saw it plain as day: the church is crumbling because our discipleship can’t match the world’s relentless formation.
🔥 The secular world’s already ‘discipling’ us – but it’s not pointing us to Christ.
Social media hijacks our values and shrinks our focus. Politics whips up tribes that define us. Consumerism trains us to crave more, always more.
🔥 Culture’s at it 24/7 – not just on Sundays.
Netflix, YouTube, and TikTok pump worldviews into us non-stop. Ads turn us into consumption machines. Algorithms lock us into outrage and echo chambers.
And what’s the church’s counterpunch? A book study? A 45 minute sermon? A 6 week small group?
We think handing out the right books, teachings, and study questions will magically grow faith. Spoiler: that’s not how it works.
It’s like bringing a butter knife to a gun fight.
Keller called it out: we need counter-catechesis – discipleship that doesn’t just stuff our heads with info but reshapes our lives.
📖 “The church must form people through embodied, habitual, and communal discipleship – not just content.” (Tim Keller, Decline and Renewal, Ch. 6)
If the world’s molding us through consumer habits and immersive experiences, how can a weekly sermon re-form disciples of Christ?
It can’t… at least, not by itself.
We Need A Discipleship Overhaul
The church keeps treating discipleship like a brain game: read the right books, hear the right sermons, nail the right theology.
But let’s cut to the chase – true formation isn’t all in your head. It can’t happen through intellectual content alone.
It happens through:
- Relationships that rewire who you are.
- Habits that sink deep over time.
- Real spiritual family that helps shape your identity.
We need discipleship that’s lived, not just learned – embodied, communal, and habitual. No more one-and-done programs.
That’s what the Abide is here for – the 2nd pillar of The Communion Revolution.
A Taste of Something Deeper Still: My Experience at SoulFormation
Forget folding chairs and church classrooms.
Picture this: I’m walking quiet paths at a Benedictine monastery, pine-scented air filling my lungs, bells echoing in the distance calling monks to prayer.
It’s slow, present – a total break from life’s grind.
For 18 months, I dove into SoulFormation’s Academy of Spiritual Formation – consisting of four retreats, 36 people from across North America, and a shared journey that wasn’t just information but transformation.
I showed up unsure, but within hours, I knew – this was a deep plunge. It was immersion.
What Made SoulFormation So Good?
Each day pulsed with a rhythm of prayer, yanking us out of autopilot – slowing us down to draw deeper into the presence of God.
- Mornings: Church bells, chapel prayers, monks chanting Psalms in harmony.
- Midday: Talks on contemplation and formation, rooted in faith.
- Meals: Quiet dining hall, no rush, just meaningful talks over shared meals.
- Afternoons: Silence and solitude – wandering the grounds, journaling, hearing God’s still, small whisper in our hearts.
- Evenings: Small groups (Triads) unpacking what God was stirring inside us.
No skimming chapters or tossing out discussion-guide answers. We lived it – the meals, the prayers, the raw vulnerability of making space for God.
My Triad – three brothers walking this together – met monthly for group spiritual direction. Not just check-ins, but gut-level, life-shifting conversations.
That’s where the real fire of transformation started.
The Catch: SoulFormation Can’t Spread Like Movement
Those 18 months opened my eyes to discipleship that was deeper than I’d even known.
But here’s the hitch: SoulFormation wasn’t a movement.
As powerful as it was, it couldn’t grow beyond the 36 of us in the cohort. Why?
Because of three big gaps:
1️⃣ No Ritual to Keep Us Going As a Community
The retreats were incredible – but when they ended, we had no common practice to hold us together and keep our community alive.
The early church had the agape feast, a weekly rhythm that built a common identity.
SoulFormation? Just a moment in time, not a lasting way forward.
2️⃣ No Identity to Tie Us Together
The 36 of us shared meaningful experiences – it was something real.
But then? We went back to our own lives. There was no lasting community, no sense of being part of a bigger story.
Paul’s churches in the New Testament, though – they were spiritual families, bound by a shared way of life.
Without that, we scatter and drift apart.
3️⃣ No Way to Scale or Decentralize Growth
Joining the Academy meant flying out to Oregon, shelling out for lodging and tuition, taking time off work. It leaned on staff to set up big facilities.
But in the early church? Just a table, a meal – pretty much anyone could start it, anywhere.
That’s why it could spread like wildfire.
The Missing Link: Communal Discipleship
SoulFormation was beautiful. Life-changing, even.
But I couldn’t take it home and run with it. It lacked a simple, repeatable habit to keep a community alive over the long-haul.
That’s why we need something fresh – a way to disciple people that’s real and spreadable.
The question is: How do we bottle SoulFormation’s depth and make it work not just for a few, but for the whole church – like the Alpha Course pulled off?
How do we craft something communal, doable, and packed with spiritual formation?
That’s why I wrote The Communion Revolution and built the Abide Course.
Abide: Discipleship That Sticks
SoulFormation opened my eyes to the true depth of spiritual formation.
The early church proved tables spark faith that multiplies.
Abide welds it all together–depth and scalability, richness and reach.
It’s discipleship lived through meals, shared life, and habits that hold.
Three practices drive it.
1️⃣ Weekly Agape Feasts – The Table’s Where Discipleship Happens
Forget church classrooms – the early church made disciples at the table, and so does Abide.
Picture: you walk in, dinner’s aroma hits you out of the kitchen, laughter spills out of the living room. The table’s set, drinks poured, dishes are passed around – no rush, no pretense, just family.
After eating, talk turns real: Scripture, struggles, questions. Faith stops being a lecture – it’s alive, shaping you right there at the table. You’re not just watching it; you’re in it.
Why It Works: A steady, weekly rhythm that keeps it going, turns words into action, and knits us tight.
2️⃣ Monthly Triads – Group Spiritual Direction for Deep Talks
Big groups create belonging, but depth needs intimacy and trust.
That’s what Triads are for. Once a month, you sit with two others. It’s not chit-chat or small talk. It’s structured and raw: “Where is God showing up in your life? Where is it hard to walk with Him?”
It’s vulnerable and raw, but safe. These aren’t just buddies – they’re spiritual brothers, anchors you’ll hold onto through life’s storms.
Why It Works: You’re known, trust runs deep, and faith gets personal. No one’s left as a bystander.
3️⃣ Four Retreats – 18 Months of Immersive Formation
Four times over 18 months, you’ll step out to a monastery, cabin, or retreat center. In these quiet spots, you’ll reset and realign with God – through prayer, shared meals, silence, and real talk.
Each retreat follows a theme.
- Waking – Be present to God’s work in your life.
- Walking – Live in step with the Spirit.
- Wrestling – Deepen your faith through struggle and surrender.
- Working – Integrate your faith into daily life and mission.
Why It Works: You’ll leave sharper, more awake to your relationship with God.
Abide Ties It All Together
Feasts, Triads, and Retreats—Abide delivers discipleship that’s:
✅ Embodied: A way of life at the table, not just stuck in a classroom.
✅ Relational: Built on spiritual families, not just focused on personal growth.
✅ Scalable: Easy for anyone to lead, anywhere, and multiply.
This is spiritual renewal for the long-haul.
The early church thrived this way. It’s our shot at restoration today.
Finally–This Could Work!
You don’t have to settle for shallow check-ins anymore.
Abide isn’t another 6-week discipleship program – it’s a way that hits deep and grows wide.
Swap awkward silences and surface-level chats for a lively kitchen table where you’re known and loved by a community that has your back.
There’s a rhythm of life that actually draws your soul toward God. This is what discipleship was meant to be. And I’ve seen it work.
After years of half-measures, it’s time to stop dreaming – let’s get it done!
Your Invitation – Join the Revolution
If modern discipleship has left you feel like it just isn’t enough… like there’s got to be more… Abide is the answer.
This isn’t a dusty study guide or a one-off retreat. It’s a communal journey – a year-and-a-half of shared meals, real talks, quiet resets – all with Jesus at the center.
He’s drawing you in and sending you out – to love others better.
Imagine: your table buzzing with life, your faith catching fire, your community growing stronger.
That’s The Communion Revolution, and Abide is the spark.
You don’t need credentials or a big budget. Anyone can lead it. You just need a heart for others and a desire to do something that matters.
Ready to Jump In? Sign Up Now!
We’re launching Abide in Fall 2025 – and we need pioneers.
If you’re hungry for more than surface-level faith, if you want real discipleship, this is your invitation.
🍽️ Host an agape feast.
👥 Gather a Triad.
🏕️ Lead a retreat.
This isn’t just a study. It’s a movement.
Spots for the beta test are limited – Sign up now!
📍 Visit: www.communionrevolution.com to learn more and join the movement.
📖 Dive In: Grab your FREE copy of The Communion Revolution and see how Jesus’ table can reshape your faith and community.
🍽️ Start Now: Invite someone for a meal this week. Keep it simple, make it real.
📣 Share the Vision: Use the hashtag #CommunionRevolution to join the conversation.
Next Up
We’ll look at how “Churches Are Isolated–Canopy Ties Us Together”