I’ve walked into church, sung the songs, listened to the sermon… and left feeling just as alone as when I arrived.
As I’ve left, shuffling out with the crowd, engaging in fleeting conversations in the foyer, there’s often a feeling of being unsettled. On the drive home, my wife asks about the service. I pause.
Yes, the sermon was good, as they usually are. Yet my response remains, “I just don’t feel like I’m finding any community here.”
This feeling isn’t new; it’s been there, gnawing at the edges of my faith for years. It’s a feeling of homelessness – a sense that the church is missing something vital.
I’ve realized I’m not alone in this. Millions of Christians echo this sentiment, feeling like church has become just another event to attend rather than a family to belong to.
Why does it feel like no one really knows you? Like church is just… another thing to consume? It’s like we’re all at a concert with TED Talk, as my friend Steve often quips.
I love Jesus – I really do – and I believe in the church. But there’s a disconnect. Something’s missing. It’s not working right.
I often wonder what the early Christians would think of Sunday morning at my church. Would they even recognize it as a church?
For them, church was a way of life, centered around the Communion table within an agape feast. In Roman times, this was a revolutionary act, declaring that Jesus is Lord, and in Christ, we’re all family.
This wasn’t just for enjoyment or inspiration; it was worship, discipleship, and mission.
But over time, we lost something essential. The church became a brand, a business – rather than a family.
We’ve tried to fix this problem with programs, groups, and discipleship cohorts, but you can’t manufacture genuine relationships. They have to happen organically.
The early church knew this – they built a way of life, based on how Jesus lived, that created real connections. When they gathered, they ate together.
That’s why I wrote The Communion Revolution. To share a vision of returning faith to where it truly belongs – around the table.
We need a movement to reclaim these practices – to break bread together, embody Christlike hospitality, and live out the Gospel in our daily lives.
Because without real relational faith, the cultural drift away from church will continue. If we don’t rebuild real community within the church, we will lose the next generation.
This is our crisis, but it’s not our fate. We can change this.
The table is waiting; the invitation is open.
Will you help reclaim what we’ve lost?
You’re Not the Only One Feeling This Way—And It’s Getting Worse
The problem isn’t just personal. It’s systemic.
📉 More and more people are quietly walking away from church. It feels like a story of subtraction and defeat.
- Church attendance is shrinking – dropping from 45% in 2000 to just 29% today.
- Young people are leaving fastest – more than 40% of adults under 30 now identify as religiously unaffiliated.
- Even those who stay are attending less – weekly evangelical church attendance has dropped from 38% to 24% since 2008.
There’s an entire generation searching for authentic, meaningful answers. It’s not just the seats that are now empty. What about the hearts of those who once filled them?
And they aren’t leaving because they don’t believe in Jesus.
People aren’t necessarily rejecting God. But they are leaving the church behind. Because church no longer feels like a place where their faith can thrive.
And right now, the church hasn’t found an answer.
To understand what’s happening, we need to go deeper than surface-level explanations.
Which is exactly what Tim Keller spent his final years studying, asking not just why churches are shrinking – but why they’re failing to reach people in the first place.
In The Decline and Renewal of the American Church, he laid out a crucial insight:
“One of the main reasons (but not the only one) for the decline of all Christian churches in the West is their failure to have a missionary encounter in the new West.”
What does it mean for the church to have a ‘missionary encounter’ in our current culture?
Keller’s Diagnosis: Three Forces Behind the Church’s Decline
So why is this happening?
Keller identified three forces that are eroding the church’s ability to reach people and make disciples.
1️⃣ Cultural Secularization
The West is not just indifferent to Christianity; it’s actively post-Christian.
A post-Christian society isn’t one that has never heard of Christianity – it’s one that has heard it, rejected it, and now sees it as part of the problem.
There was a time when even non-believers saw Christianity as a net positive in society. But not anymore.
Today, Christian morality on topics of sexuality, family, and identity is increasingly viewed as repressive, outdated, harmful – an obstacle to progress.
My friend from high school loved our youth group. But in university, he embraced a new ideology – one where the church wasn’t just outdated, but oppressive. His story is common.
More and more, Christianity isn’t seen as irrelevant – it’s seen as part of the problem.
Our default cultural mindset is now radically individualistic:
✔ Truth is personal.
✔ Morality is self-determined.
✔ Faith is just one option among many.
The problem? Most churches aren’t prepared for this kind of missionary work.
In past generations, evangelism was often merely about reminding people of the faith they had drifted from. Now, evangelism requires introducing people to a worldview they have never seriously considered.
And how can the church speak meaningfully to a culture that sees Christianity as part of the problem? How can we reach people who aren’t just indifferent – but hostile?
2️⃣ Institutional Breakdown
Church structures are struggling to adapt.
For decades, church growth strategies were built on institutional assumptions:
✅If you built an attractive church, people would come.
✅If you had a great preacher, people would listen.
✅If you had strong programs, people would stay.
A few years back, I used to invite colleagues from work to our church’s Easter Sunday service, held in the city’s biggest auditorium. Maybe the spectacle would draw them in? It didn’t.
No one ever came. The ‘if you build it, they will come’ model doesn’t work like it used to.
❌Church attendance is no longer a habit. Even committed Christians now attend less frequently.
❌Church finances are under strain. Fewer members mean fewer resources, forcing many churches to downsize or close.
❌Younger generations aren’t looking for more “events.” They are searching for meaningful relationships and a faith that feels authentic.
When did the church lose its way from being a community to becoming just another institution?
For many, church feels like a show to attend, not a family to belong to. And yet, the early church wasn’t built on services and programs.
It was built on community, discipleship, and a shared life.
If modern churches don’t return to that, they will continue to shrink.
3️⃣ Shallow Discipleship
Many Christians are spiritually unprepared for life in a secular world.
Even in churches that are growing, spiritual formation is often weak. What does it mean to be prepared for faith in today’s world?
Many Christians currently:
❌Struggle to articulate their faith beyond vague spiritual clichés.
❌Are shaped more by social media and secular culture than by Scripture.
❌Lack strong Christian friendships that can help them grow in faith.
Even in churches that are growing, spiritual formation is often weak. Many small group models try to fill the gap – but without intentional discipleship, they become little more than social clubs.
At our church, we had a ‘free market’ approach to small groups. But that meant people just flocked to board games or fitness groups, not groups with real spiritual depth.
This sort of thing is wide-spread. The result? A church that is numerically shrinking and spiritually weak. Christians who are more likely to drift away when challenged by culture.
We have a church that’s failing to equip people for mission in a post-Christian world.And that’s the real crisis.
But what has the church done in response?
Most church leaders recognize the decline. And they’ve tried to fix it.
It’s just that most strategies have failed to reverse the decline.
But it’s not all doom and gloom.
There’s a path forward, a return to the roots of our faith – the hospitable way Jesus lived.
After all, “The Son of Man came eating and drinking…”
Now Is Our Chance to Reclaim What We’ve Let Fade Away
Together we can change the narrative from one of decline to one of renewal.
Will you help us revive what we’ve lost – starting at your own table? Let’s bring back the practices that once defined Christian community.
🚪 Start Today: Invite someone to dinner this week. It doesn’t have to be fancy—just open your door.
📚 Get Equipped: Download The Communion Revolution for free & start practicing radical hospitality.
💬 Join the Conversation: Drop a comment below—how does this resonate with you?
Rediscover church as it was meant to be – a place of deep connection and personal belonging. What if hospitality became what Christians were best known for? Let’s reclaim that identity – one table at a time.
📍 Visit: www.communionrevolution.com to learn more and join the movement.
📖 Buy: The Communion Revolution.
Stay Engaged
In our next post – “From Fitness Fads to Faith Movements – The Church’s Lost Habit” – we’ll explore why current church strategies aren’t working and introduce a new path forward.
📣 Share the Vision: Use the hashtag #CommunionRevolution to join the conversation.
If this message resonates with you, please help spread the word. Share this post with friends, family, or anyone longing for a deeper community experience.